There is such an immense, endless
stuck place in me that simply
will not express anger
in any healthy way.
I clamp down the breathing
of my heart so tightly I nearly
black out from the lack of air.
I am instantly ashamed and immobilized
by my own searing bushfire of hate
racing to annihilate every bit of me.
It was a too late, hollow realization
that I interpret all closed off
parts of anyone as anger-
not distractedness, tiredness or busy-
just anger: my own melting
rage against.....
what?
The lesson today mocks me now,
"This is a day of stillness and of peace."
My haughty inner comic sneers
"Sure we can have peace but
your ANGER is STILL here"
Oh Jesus, how do I accept
anger? How do I make a space
for that heinous of sins:
a boiling grievance against
my bothers? Against myself?
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